Why Attractive Cartoon Animals Should Be Banned

1.) Animals aren’t that hot, because if they were, things would be… different.


2.) You start to think that you’re crazy, because who in their right mind would be more in love with an animal than a human?

the beast

Later, you realize that it’s not your fault, because who wouldn’t if the animal looked like that?

3.) It ruins your perception of men.

zac efron

That, no matter how attractive it is, will never compare to the beauty of this:

Bambi's dad

Okay, wait. That might have been an overstatement. Zac Efron is the one of the most beautiful creatures ever, so they’re pretty tied. But, normal men don’t look like Zac Efron, because if they did, I wouldn’t have a problem and wouldn’t be writing this post.

4.) It’s completely unfair, because, to be honest, Simba is better looking than 99.99% of the men you’ve seen in real life.

simbaWhy can’t men look like that?

5.) They left you having unrealistic expectations on how romantic the men in your life would be.

lady and the tramp

Why can’t guys do that? Men need to pick up the slack, because these beautiful cartoons are trying and succeeding at stealing their girls.

6.) Your first crush ends up not even being a human.

robin hoodHe was beautiful to five-year-old you. Don’t lie.

In conclusion: Men, take note of these beautiful creatures, and you may one day become as successful at attracting girls as they are.


11 thoughts on “Why Attractive Cartoon Animals Should Be Banned

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